Weekend with the Family!

This weekend I am spending some much needed time with my family! My mom’s birthday is this weekend and she has decided to plan a birthday weekend celebration. Friday is when my sisters and I get in town and we cook dinner for her. Saturday, the family plus cousins, Aunts, and Uncles are going to dinner for her birthday.

This year is different from my mom's birthdays in years past because of all of the support and love she has shown for me during my time of battling my illness. It means so much more to me to be able to see another birthday of my mom, who is the woman I look up to and who teaches me many life lessons.

 I love the time I get to spend with my family. With my sisters and me away at college it is always a good feeling when we get to spend time together. I hope my mom has an amazing birthday filled with laughter and love! Love you mommy!

Helping others

During my stay at Children's Hospital I met so many kids that helped me be a better person. After getting to know these kids, my family and I wanted to help them in any way possible. We began talking to them and their families and helping them to understand that everything is going to get better. Many of the families we met didn’t have the funds to travel from their home to Children's Hospital every day. It was hard to see these kids and families struggle. Even though I was going through a hard time, helping these other families helped me to feel better. It was a good feeling to know that I was helping others while we all struggle to live another day.

I always encourage others to go out there and make a difference in someone’s life. Help them understand life and living while they go through a hard time.

Life!

Whenever you are faced with a challenge in life I think it gives you more hope and determination to stand up against whatever you are faced with and have a positive outcome. I love to hear other success stories of when they were faced with a negative situation but decided to stand up against it and tell others their testimony.

Whenever I think of “Blessing in Disguise,” I think about where I am now and how I have gotten to this place. I also think about the certain things my situation has taught me. It has taught me to NEVER take things for granted, to live everyday thankful for the things and people in my life. It has also taught me to not sweat the small stuff, because in the end those things don’t really matter.  I have a better appreciation for life and a better appreciation for living and waking up every day.

As it get closer to time for me to graduate, I can’t help but be thankful for where I am now! I never knew if I would be at this point in life where I am happy to have had the opportunity to come back to college and finish out my academics. I never knew if I would be able to actually get closer to the goal of doing what I love. Having gained an internship for the summer, I see my dream becoming reality.

Be thankful for where you are in life. Be thankful to be healthy and to be able to be in college. Be thankful for the little things in life. These things make you a happier person!

Grief

Grieving can be very hard. When you lose someone close to you it can be really hard to accept the fact they are gone. It is okay to cry and wish that that person was still here. I feel when someone in the family is diagnosed with a chronic illness the family begins to grieve in the beginning. They have to have time in the beginning to accept the fact that this has happened and they are going to do everything to keep that person alive.

Saturday afternoon, I attended the funeral of a 14 year old boy named Tyler that I met at Children’s Hospital. Many people attended his funeral, everyone from family to friends to nurses and doctors. Many people knew Tyler at Children’s Hospital and could see how determined he was to be in remission. Walking into the church every seat was filled and many people stood along the back wall.  Three gentlemen stood up and talked about the funny side of Tyler. He was a funny boy who always spoke his mind. It was amazing to see all the support in that church.

After the funeral, I saw many of my nurses and staff from Children’s Hospital. One of the ladies told me and my mom that she was going to find another job because she could not let herself not get attached to many of the patients. She pointed to Tyler and said “That did it for me.” At the funeral I felt as if many people were mourning the illness of such a young and happy boy. Everyone grieves in their own way but it felt good to come together with many others that are grieving the same lost of a young boy.

This funeral taught me that grieving is okay and no matter how many times you grieve it doesn’t get easier.

High School Days

Why is it so hard to be nice to others now days?

Friday, I was asked to judge a local pageant for high school girls. Fifteen girls competed to become the next Miss RHS. The pageant consisted of interview, talent, and evening gown. While we interview each girl for three minutes, one judge asked the girls, “What is one problem that teenagers face?” Every girl that was asked this question answered “bullying.” Many of the girls went on to tell us that there is bullying problem in their school and they have witnessed it before. One of the girls made a good point when she said she can’t figure out why people can’t accept others. Not everyone is a like and the ones that are different and stick out are the ones that get bullied. I think it is really hard for others to accept others of a different nature.

The girls were also asked a question wondering why they wanted to be the next Miss RHS. Many of the girls said it was because they wanted to see someone win other than a “popular” girl. This made me think about my high school days and how difficult it was to see the same girls win everything. But when you go off to college those things don’t really matter anymore. You meet different people from all around the world who all have a common goal in life. In college, you understand that people are different and either you chose to hang out with them or you don’t. College is where you begin to find yourself and you stop thinking about trying to rise above the “popular” girls.

Just a thought.

Pageant Time!

This weekend I was asked to judge a pageant for K- 8th grade. These are always the hardest pageants to judge because you want to make everyone a winner. I had to be at the school early that morning and get ready to interview the middle school girls. All the judges read over the girl’s bios and were impress by the girls in seeing who their role models were, what their greatest accomplishment was, and their dreams for the future!

Many of these middle school girls picked their role model to be an amazing person, other than their mom. One girl's role model was her aunt who was diagnosed with spinal bifida. She told us how her aunt is determined to live a normal lifestyle despite her illness. She went on to complete grad school, she tries to get out of the house any chance she gets, and she has a dream of becoming a teacher and is working towards that. I thought it was amazing to see this 7th grader notice those things in her aunt, and want those same characteristics as her aunt.

After the interviews we judged all the girls in evening wear. All of these girls had gorgeous dresses and loved to be able to get dressed up and have fun! The night was a success and everyone had a good time!

Community Service!

I love community service! I love the thrill and excitement of helping others out!

This week, I had an appearance to speak at a local church for their Black History Month Program. I was very excited to be able to speak to the youth about the amazing things God has done in my life and how he can very well do the same in theirs. It was an amazing night and I felt as if I was able to get through to them. I walked away feeling as if they had understood my message and where I was coming form. After the program many of them cam up to me and circled around me and were just excited to have me there at their church. I felt very welcomed and was very excited to be able to speak into their lives.

March 2nd was Dr. Seuss' birthday. To celebrate his birthday every year there is an event in his honor called Dr. Seuss Read Across America. I went to an elementary school and read to a third grade class. I love being able to speak to kids. Sometime it can be hard to keep younger kids attention, but these kids were excited to hear Dr. Seuss books. One lady, that also read to some of the kids, dressed up as Dr. Seuss and I heard it is something she does every year. Many of the kids love to hear her read!


Community service is great way to get involved while also giving back. It is amazing to see just how many people will remember you for the amazing service you have done.

How to cope

Learning how to cope with a something you are going through can be very difficult. At first, when I was diagnosed I spent a lot of time not talking about my issue. I just wanted it to be over with. As time went on, I began writing my story down and telling my story to others. I think it helps others understand anything is possible when they hear another inspiring message.

One day, I sat down and began writing my story and began to cry. It helped me deal with what was going on. After writing my story, I began reading it aloud to myself and saw how much better I felt and began to lean more on HOPE of getting through my illness.

This week I was asked to be the speaker for the Black History Program. I felt very honored to be asked to speak at the event. I sat down and began to write about my experience as Miss UNA. I loved being able to tell my story but also to encourage all of them to pave the way for many other African American that will attend UNA.

The Family's Role!

One thing I learned while battling my illness is that not only are you battling this illness but so are your family.

 I have a wonderful, supportive family that was there with me while I was facing a hard time. Since I am a very dependent person, I had to learn how to lean on them. They were the ones I depended on to get my medicine, to give me shots in my legs, to schedule my doctors’ appointments, to make my days a little better, and to hive me HOPE through it all. Even though I was the one physically feeling all of the pain, I always felt like my family felt it also. They understood how harsh the medicine was on my body, how everyday of receiving chemotherapy made me weaker, and how learning how to give myself shots at 20 years olds was not anything I ever wanted. Depending on FAMILY is the best thing you can do. They not only are your caregivers but are the ones that you should also depend on to know that it will get better.

Why I love what I do!

You never really understand your blessing in disguise until you see how it affects you after you get better or after you spend a year serving others because you have to have community service for winning a pageant. But I can see it. I am still living it.

One night, during the time I was sick, I lay in bed and asked God what it was I was supposed to be doing in life? How could I turn this situation into a positive one? The very next day, I had to go to the hospital to have a transfusion. My parents and I walked to the back, into this long narrow room with big comfortable chairs lined up on both sides of the walls. They were always occupied with kids getting transfusions done for many reasons. The left side was where kids with blood disorders sat, while the right was the oncology side. As I sat down, in a big blue cushioned chair, right across from me sat a little boy and his mother. I noticed her watching me and my parents as we talked about anything else to take our minds off knowing we were back in this familiar room for another transfusion. After a few minutes, she walks up to us, introduces herself and says, "God is going to use you and your story to be a testimony for others." Right then, at that moment, I knew why I was here. I understood my purpose for living.

Since hearing that message back in 2009, I try to live each day by those very words. Where ever I am asked to speak I am able to tell my testimony and give others an insight to knowing that anyone can go through something traumatic and still live out their dreams. I tell this story in order to help others understand where my passion comes from, why I still volunteer, and why I still feel as if it is an honor to help others.

This week I was asked to speak to a high school sorority, named Zuri. This African American sorority was celebrating Black History month and the sponsor asked me to come speak to the girls about how I got to where I am. As I stood at the podium and began to speak, I noticed this one girl who was sitting on the second row. As she listened to my story, her eyes lit up and I could see that in some way I was helping her. I always say as long as I have helped make a difference in one person’s life, I have accomplished my goal! And this girl was it! Whenever I am asked to speak at an appearance, I pass around a sheet of paper where I make them write down their dreams and goals. Then, I call on them to tell me at least one of their goals they put down on their list. This girl raised her hand, and I called on her. She said her goal was to finish school, go to college, and get a good job where she could support her family. I thought it was very brave of her to say that in front of everyone else. I also saw that this girl had been through something also and had the desire to turn her situation into a positive one. When I left that day, I left with so much joy of knowing that I helped that girl know that it was possible. I helped her see what the power of God can truly do in your life!

"If I have only helped one person, I have accomplished my goal!"

Life goes on

After passing on the crown to another young lady, I didnt think I would still be asked to appear at different events. The list of apperances hasnt stopped. I am very excited to still be able to help others in anyway I can.
Friday night I made my first apperance as the former Miss UNA. It was amazing to see just how much support I still get from the community and students. I was very excited to be able to use my talent in support of my university.
Saturday night, I was asked to judge a pageant. I was very excited to help crown the next Miss West Point. All of those girls were so confident and you counld tell they all wanted the chance to represent their high school. The 21 girls came down to the top 10 and then from there we had 4 runners up and the winner. I love judging pageants because I am able to pick a girl out of the crowd that I think will do the best job.

I am so excited to have the chance to keep helping others!

The Beginning of My Journey

What a year! I just finished my year as Miss UNA! I had the wonderful opportunity to represent an amazing university. Being crowned Miss UNA has been such a blessing in disguise for me. 

It all began the second week of my sophomore year of college. It's the year when you begin to feel comfortable. I was a dance line member of the UNA's wonderful marching band and had made many friends. That all changed when I woke up one morning with shortness of breath and was very tired. I decided to go to the infirmary to find out what was wrong with me. That trip to the infirmary sent me further to the ER. At one point, I was sitting at the infirmary in the doctor’s room with both of my arms out resting on my legs and my palms up. I looked up and saw two nurses trying to draw blood from my body and before I knew it the nurses doubled. Seemingly, four nurses stood in front of me trying so hard to draw blood from my body. Nothing was done. My next trip was to the hospital's ER where I was able to get blood drawn and was sent home. Later on a nurse would call me with the results. I was then rushed to the ER, where later on I found out that with the amount of blood in my body I was not suppose to be walking or talking. 

After being referred to four doctors, I would meet my angel. My doctor was my best friend. One I counted on to get me well but also to pray with me through this hard time. I would have many bone marrow biopsies through my struggle. I would learn who God was. I would find myself through all of this chaos. I began falling in love with the children at Children's Hospital. These kids became my best friends. I learned from them and they learned from me. 

A year later, I would enroll back in school healthy and happy. I signed up for the Miss UNA pageant in hopes to be a representative of UNA. The night of the pageant was amazing and I walked away with the crown and with more determination than I had ever had. I wanted to be the best me during that year. I wanted to learn from others. I spent that year serving my community and school. I began seeing the growth in myself. Every appearance made me more passionate in wanting to help others. I wanted to do even more every time. I fell in love with the fact of helping others by promoting my platform, "A Chance to Dream." I wanted to help others recognize their dreams and goals and to keep pushing towards those. 

January 28, 2012 I would give up my crown in hopes of another Miss UNA having the same love and determination I had. I loved every second of being Miss UNA. God put me in that place for many reasons. In hopes of growing as a person, touching others lives and being a role model for kids. 

But my blessing in disguise doesn't stop there. I am now determined to create a non-profit organization for kids with Aplastic Anemia and blood disorders. I want to be their support system, their other doctor. I will continue to push myself to help others more and more. Be a voice for them and cry with them during the hard times. I sincerely want to help others. It’s my love! I have found my gift on earth, and it is to truly be an open door for others. Help them get through the hard times.

My blessing has come out of this disguise. A disguise that I didn't let hurt me but help push me toward doing more. Miss UNA was a stepping stone for me, and now I have reached another step; to love, comfort and help kids with chronic illnesses. It is what I love. I hope everyone finds what they love and does just that. It will bring you such joy! Love what you do, and do what you love!